From Nelly to Molly this December 31, 1972

Dear Molly,

God bless you now and help me to write. I don't think I have ever tried to write when my hand has been so shaky. But maybe it will get better. I am very glad indeed for your letter. So happy for your attitude toward me. But Molly I didn't have a picture of Frank that I could display. If I had for Joe’s sake - I mean my son - I would. Frank was your brother and I know it would make you feel bad if I told some things, but let's put it this way, Frank and I were miss mated so badly.

He was too large sexually for me and therefore was a source of aggravation or pain rather than satisfaction. And I often resisted him and he was of course just like any man. We did not quarrel and he was not unkind to me. We evidently had conflicting blood types for I lost 4 babies while I lived with him. Then he left me when I was pregnant with Joe my oldest son. I was 13 years and 26 days old when we were married and Frank was 22.

But he was a rather irresponsible person and we lived with my parents most of the time and my parents, especially mother resented him being so dependent on them. So okay, Molly, these are things a person likes to forget. But I imagine you remember or enough to understand what I'm talking about. So when Joe first came to visit us we didn't have an apartment. But Frank wrote and asked him to come and visit us. So he paid the rent on a house and bought enough secondhand furniture to furnish it with necessary things.

Then after a little while he went to Asheville, North Carolina and went to work in a railroad shop there. I can't remember if it was before or after he left that Myrtle Thompson came and spent some time with us and she and George Ailshire were married. By the way is Myrtle still living? If I ask you when you were here I don't remember. Anyway Frank wanted to go. Keeping house required more money than he wanted to work out so he wrote asked Joe to send him money.

So Joe sent it and Frank and I went down there. Joe had never approached me in anyway. So I had no way of knowing how he felt towards me. I was only about 16 and knowing nothing of things. I wish I had known. I thought it would be quite a lark to go down south. But Frank didn't get the kind of work he wanted and the people he got a boarding house room from on credit and didn't have the money to pay it. We had to move. So he put me in a slum boardinghouse and Joe paid for it and paid the backboard I owed or  rather that Frank owed to get my clothes from the boarding house. Then after awhile he did approach me.

Of course a person had to work a month on the railroad to get a home. But he figured Joe would take care of me and I had to depend on Joe.

So he sent for me after a month then he asked me if I had something to do with Joe. And I told him the truth and of course he got mad. So Joe told him that he loved me and Frank told him that if he would buy him a ticket to Kansas City, Missouri that he could have me. So Joe bought him the ticket and Frank kissed me goodbye. Then Joe took me to Fitzgerald, Georgia. Then to a town in Arkansas I have forgotten the name of the place right now.

But I was showing a lot about August I think it was and Joe began to feel uneasy that someone might start asking questions. He looked so old and I was so young. So I wrote and asked my dad to come and get me so he did and brought me home. Expected my baby Joe in November but he came September 28 - five weeks premature. My dad and mother stood by bless their hearts also Joe Sr. if they hadn't - I don't know what the outcome would have been. But even though I knew nothing about God I'm sure that his mercies were multiplied. Then my dad sued Frank for divorce for me and Joe paid half of the fee on my divorce certificate.

It referred to me as an infant. Then Joe and I were married there at the courthouse in Columbus, Ohio. Soon after we went to Hoxie, Arkansas. Little Joe was three months old. Anyhow when Nelly was born (we had a little boy that died at three and half months of age before Nelly). But by then Joe's health began to break down and I had to still live at home with two children. Since my parents had to support me and the children most of the time, Joe often stayed away - made his own way the best he could and it was such a heart breaking experience all through the years as long as he lived.

And of course after he was gone with four children to raise alone it wasn’t any picnic. But in 1924 when Nelly was three months old I became a Christian and a short time maybe two or three months later Joe also became a Christian - thank God he lived about seven more years if I remember right. And there wasn’t a more sincere godly human I don't think ever lived than he was. And no human ever suffered more physically than he did. But he held his faith in God. This last time he went to church just a few weeks before he died. He had barely the strength to stand but he did and held on to the back of his seat in front of him and tried to tell the young people the call to love God and keep his commandments is much better than it is to live a life of greed and selfishness. It was an anointed testimony and I hope that helps some young person to seek the Lord. Joe suffered mentally and emotionally as well as physically. And of course these things never paid for salvation but his faith never wavered for a moment so far as I know. I have heard him say many times I'm glad to suffer here for I will find rest in peace when it is over with. He told me he had been a very wicked man and a very selfish man in many ways. But it is very unusual human of any sex or status of life that has not been selfish in some degree.

Molly please don't let things I have told you hurt for I did not rise them to hurt you - But to give you the truth of the situation. Frank certainly was not all bad but circumstances perhaps played a big part. I too feel that Catherine was the best suited person as a wife for Frank. She was a driver and Frank had to have someone to take the initiative.

I was a child and an epileptic too. When he married me and I knew nothing about making a living or helping him. I have prayed for Frank and hope that God would reveal himself to him in a way that he could know the importance of preparing to meet the Lord and I sincerely hope he did.

I hope you're all well and happy and that God is in you and all your family. I haven't been so well for quite a longtime so finally went to a doctor and I have been taking his medicine for a week and feel worlds better today and am so thankful for it. I'm almost blinded in one eye and went to the doctors specially for the and sinus infection. He told me I had a cataract on one or both eyes so I have an appointment to see an eye specialist tomorrow. I hope she was mistaken but will know soon. Today I feel so much better than I have for a long time. Even see clearer. So I feel that God has helped me even if it was from a doctor's medicine. I have had some wonderful experiences of divine healing and I know what God can do.

My daughter (Bernice?) and family went to Texas to be with her husband's parents and his two children for Christmas. I thought they would have been back before now but we have had no word of any kind so hope and trust in the Lords help.

My son-in-law wasn't able to go so far but he has a terminal sickness and might not have another Christmas to see his children.

Love in Jesus name and have a happy new year always.